Down This Rabbithole
by peachykeenage
Summary: After Park and Eleanor's separation it left them both devastated. Once they begin dreaming about each other things begin to change. Somehow their dreams are connected, causing them to see each other again. Park just wants the real Eleanor back but can she really go back? Follow Eleanor and Park as they understand how much they really love each other.
1. 1

**1**

**Eleanor**

Eleanor watched him patiently, standing in the door frame of her bedroom was Park.

Her Park.

"Eleanor…" Park started just as patiently.

"I didn't write back, Park. I'm sorry but it's just so different here and I-," Eleanor was interrupted abruptly by Park's deep voice.

His eyes looked the same as the first time he had yelled at her

(the only time he had yelled at her).

The first day they met.

That felt like ages and ages ago. In reality it was just months ago.

They were the same eyes she looked into before they kissed for the first time

(along with every time.) His lips seemed to always be pushed together and it reminded Eleanor of her mother, her mother reminded her of Richie.

_Damn,_ Eleanor thought, _I hate memories._

"Eleanor, I just came back to tell you that I-" Park continued while Eleanor's mind was racing, entering obscene words in his deep void of a pause.

_I..l__ove you?_ _I.. __need you? __No. I.. __want you?_ _This all sounds like a Bread song._

"I really-,"Park had a kind of sadness in his eyes that said,

'I'm not sad, but maybe I am. You'll never know.'

**Park**

Park's mind went blank.

Looking at Eleanor was like looking at a girl who didn't speak the same language you did but she somehow understood you and you didn't understand her.

You honestly didn't have to understand her. If you just look at her it's enough.

Eleanor backed away from the door in the middle of his pause. She grabbed a green tee shirt off her bed,

"I know what you're here for, Park." Her voice seemed almost annoyed as she folded the tee shirt into a perfect square. She pushed the shirt into Park's chest so that the letters on the front showed.

It read: _Kiss Me I'm Irish._

"Here. I assume you want this, Park," Eleanor's face was so soft-looking when it was held captive by Park's eyes. Her lips were very… kissable.

Park wanted to press his lips against hers one last time.

"Eleanor-" He looked down at the Tee shirt in his hands. The word 'Eleanor' sounded so foreign because for months he didn't have any reason to say it.

"I- I don't want this shirt back, Eleanor," his lips felt cold when saying her name in the tone he just did.

"Then why are you here? You're making this harder than it has to be. If I would have known you would be coming back I probably would have answered you letters, Park. I thought I wouldn't see you again so I was preparing myself for that." Eleanor's face became really stiff and sorrowful.

"Eleanor," Park raised his voice this time, not yelling though.

"I came to kiss you. I came back because I missed you not to make you hate me. I love you, Eleanor, and I don't want this back," he passed the Tee shirt back into her hands while looking into Eleanor's wide green eyes.


	2. 2

**2**

**Eleanor**

She felt her heart sink.

_Park._

She loved him and she knew it.

But what if she didn't.

What if she was wrong.

Wrong about everything.

_Feelings can be pretty misleading, _Eleanor thought.

Eleanor gazed down from Park's eyes to his lips.

She's kissed them before but she forgot the feeling they gave her.

That one feeling she couldn't mask.

_Park._

She blinked a few more times before she felt Park's warm lips against hers.

Eleanor kissed him more than she ever had before and Park was kissing her back.

She made sure she kept her eyes closed tight so that she can only remember the warm sound of silence and their hearts beating together at one beat.

Eleanor felt Park's soft hands gently grip Eleanor's waist.

"Park-," Eleanor whispered as she backed away, breaking the kisses.

Park stayed silent for a while, making his way to Eleanor's bed. He sat down on the edge and studied his fingers quietly.

After the silence Park spoke out,

"I wasn't expecting you to kiss me the way you did. It's kind of embarrassing because I want you so badly, Eleanor." Park spoke softly and sorrowfully, as if he were sorry for even coming in the first place.

"Don't say my name like that," Eleanor's voice was meek but still strong in a light manner, standing still and awkwardly.

"I'm sorry-," Park paused for a few seconds, "_Eleanor," _Park tried to sound happy but his voice was a disappointing shade of grey.

Eleanor looked up at Park with tears in her eyes.

Before she spoke again she closed her eyes as tight as she could, before she opened her eyes again she found her lips enclosed onto his again.

**Park**

He opened his eyes and saw Eleanor's closed eyes fluttering inside their eyelids.

_She is so beautiful, _Park thought to himself.

He kissed her softly and over and over.

Her legs were wrapped around his hips as she touched his cheek.

Park gripped her hips again as she breathed softly.

"I love you, Eleanor," Park's voice was sudden and soft.

Eleanor looked at him, her cheeks were red and her eyes were as large as they always were.

She caressed his cheek one last time as Park brushed a long, red, vicious curl from her face. Her lips were red and plump, Park really was tempted to bite her lips.

"_Park, I love you too_," she spoke these words with gentleness.

**Eleanor**

Her heart bursted into tiny pieces.

"_Just like every time I see him," She thought to herself._

Although this, like every time she kissed him, felt different.

She said _it_.

She said it with so much breathlessness that she thought maybe he didn't hear her.

Park looked at her like he just swallowed a paperclip and it's pointed end was scrapping around his insides.

Eleanor was surprised at how wide his eyes could get, considering his eye shape.

"Eleanor, don't say something you don't mean. Please tell me that you mean it." Park looked deeply into her eyes as if he were searching for something lost.

Or maybe proving something.

Eleanor looked down at Park's fingers, studying every little curve of every finger, remembering every line her finger traced.

"I mean it. I really-," Eleanor swallowed before answering him again.

_Do I really love him or was I just overpowered by his intense asian superpowers_?

Park waited patiently on her bed for her answer.

Eleanor sat quietly with him, holding Park's hand as softly as she always had.

"I really love you." She swallowed air once more.

"Park..." She breathed before realizing she had just said his name for the sake of saying it, not having a question at all.

"Yes?" His voice was breaking as he looked at her.

"I love you." Saying this was like a medicine no one could make with their bare hands.

Saying this to Park was even more rewarding because Eleanor knew…

She knew that Park was the only one saying it back to her and that made it all worth the wait.


	3. 3

**3**

**Park**

Park's breathing quickened once his eyes opened, flashing tiny bits of reality into his fantasies.

_No, _Park breathed while l sitting up quickly in his bed.

_No this wasn't a dream. This was real. _Park's head felt heavy and he felt every piece of hope fled from his body, leaving a small pool of emptiness draining into his heart.

The darkness of his room pierced his eyes.

Or maybe he was about to cry.

"Please," Park spoke out loud, quietly but almost pleading. "That couldn't have been a dream." He felt hot tears gain abruptly into his eyes. Park ran his fingers through his black hair, searching desperately for Eleanor to be next to him in his bed.

She wasn't there.

_Please._

Park began to sob.

A sob that didn't mind being called feminine.

A sob that was waiting so long to be let out.

"Eleanor," he began to sob out her name, not caring anymore if his Dad barged into his room, demanding for Park to "stop being a pussy."

Park learned not to care whether Josh thought that he was gay.

Or his ferrari phone.

Or his waterbed.

Park learned not to care about nothing except his unending dreams about Eleanor.

_Eleanor._

Park wiped his eyes with his shaking hand, each teardrop ended up ripping his heart open.

Park swallowed for air, trying hard to bring back the memorization of Eleanor's red fiery hair.

He studied her pink lips and her dark brown holes in her face (eyes.)

He remembered the firm weight of her body, creeping into his arms softly.

He breathed in her vanilla stained arms and neck. Eleanor's round face in his hands felt so real. Park was sure it was real. His heart was racing and his head was pounding. He had never felt so stupid in his life.

_She would have never told me that she loved me._ Park knew this was true too.

Park tried to burn the memories into his mind the same way he made a cassette tape.

As much as the stinging fire of the thoughts rampaged into his lungs he convinced himself to calm down.

_I have school tomorrow. Damn._

He tried to tell himself that if he didn't sleep now then he would have six more hours to go. He quietly began to gather his feelings up and cuddle them. Nothing would ever be the same anymore. The dreams. The hallucinations. The constant worry that if he left the house she would come back and he would not be there.

Everything was so wrong. Park began to close his eyes and curl into a small ball. His lungs felt like they were filling up with his tears. The back of his eyelids were engraved with Eleanor's face and body. Her clothes. The weird fishing lines hanging in her hair.

Park tried to silence her voice from his ears but all he heard was, "_I love you too."_


End file.
